Make Genuine Friends for Authentic Connection

When I returned to NZ from the UK 12 years ago, I thought I could slot back into the solid friendships I’d left behind. But it was a shock to find they’d moved on, and there was no room for me.

I had to start fresh all over again. 

I’ve started afresh many times – each time facing new challenges with plenty of mistakes to learn from. But this time was much harder.

I tried many things and joined different clubs in an attempt to find like-minded women of a similar stage in life who were open to making new friends for authentic connection. 

But I found many women didn’t have the time, availability or energy to extend friendship to me with their many competing priorities.

So I gave up and buried myself in work. Not a good move.

Then Covid hit, and well, I don’t have to tell you the affect isolation had on friendships and connection on the whole for everyone.

When everything went virtual, I realised I wasn’t alone amongst the many other women in their 50s who were experiencing the same friendship challenges as me.

So I did something about it so that other women could avoid what I went through.

I created a community of like-minded women in their 50s that came together regularly IRL to enrich their lives with friendship and fun.

And I experienced such rich rewards and joy in watching new friendships grow, flourish, and deepen.

But after hosting 185 events, connecting with more than 150 women in real life over a 15-month period, it’s fair to say I observed a few friendship mistakes.

They were obvious to me because I’ve made them all before — before that is, learning what not to do and an easier way to make friends.

There is a well-signposted path to friendship that many don’t follow.

Instead, we bumble along through trial and error; gathering rejection, hurt, and scars along the way because we’re never taught the ‘how to’ of friendship.